I wanted to talk to the daddies today. While I’m sure I don’t have very many male readers I’m sure you moms will be glad to pass this info along. Breastfeeding is hard for dads too. For one thing the breasts that used to be his now are off-limits and belong to the baby. The next problem is that they feel sort of helpless since there is not much they can do to participate. There’s not a whole lot they can do during those midnight feedings or is there? I wanted to share a few ideas about how a dad can help with breastfeeding.
Change the baby’s diaper. Newborns poop a lot! (Especially breast-fed ones!) They will need to have their diaper changed almost every feeding. It is very helpful to a sore and exhausted mom to have this task taken care of by someone else. Then all she has to worry about is feeding the baby and hopefully go back to sleep.
Walk with the baby when the feeding is done. If the baby is having trouble going back to sleep after a middle of the night feeding it is such a wonderful thing for a wiped-out mom to hear dad say “here, let me walk with the baby while you sleep.” Hallelujah!!! I’m telling you that there is something about the ‘daddy shoulder’ that works to put babies to sleep. No it won’t always work and sometimes you will both need to tag team being up with the baby to keep your sanity, but a little break after the feeding is very welcome.
Check on mom to see if she needs anything. As I’ve mentioned before breastfeeding makes you very thirsty and hungry. While she is pinned down feeding the baby checking to see if there is anything that she needs or would make her more comfortable is always a great help.
Don’t hate me, but if dads would help out with the household chores it will remove a ton of stress from a nursing mom. Just a load of laundry or dishes will help tremendously. It is hard sometimes sitting there, pinned down while nursing with thoughts running through your head of everything that needs to be done that you can’t get to because you are pinned down!! (It’s our crazy women brains. We can’t help it! We don’t have an off switch like men do.) I know that it may not seem like a big deal, but it is to her and it can make a world of difference in the atmosphere of your home.
Feed the baby. After the first few weeks mom can pump some milk and dad can get to enjoy the bond of feeding the baby. Or if you are supplementing some with formula, which I’ve known several moms who have used breast milk and formula and have not had a problem. I do suggest pumping and giving bottles occasionally when nursing has been established. Somewhere between 2-4 weeks I think is a good time. This will give mom a little more freedom to go and do things without always having a tag along. I never gave the baby a bottle. If it got a bottle, dad gave it so as not to confuse it. That’s just how we did it. Dad – bottle, mom – boob.
Rub her feet. This will score some major brownie points (at least in my book it would!). If mom isn’t fond of this maybe try singing to her or reading her a book or whatever might bring her pleasure while the baby is feeding that is not too invasive for baby.
Dad, if you will try to do some of these things you will be your wife’s hero. Your help now I’m sure will be rewarded later (if you know what I mean!). Talk to your wife. Ask her if there is any way that you can help her with breastfeeding. Ask her if there is any kind of support that you can give to help her to breastfeed. My husband always supported me in my desire to breastfeed even when we hit rough patches and he’s probably part of what helped me to stay strong. Remember new moms are very sensitive and need gentleness, help and support even though sometimes our pride keeps us from asking for it. Take care of mom and baby for me and enjoy the ride!
Succeed when you breastfeed 